♦ Friend…..?

In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer

Fate defines who will be our family members but each and everyone of us chooses our own friends. As in every single thing we undertake the prime thought is “What is the expectation behind befriending this person.. Will it actually be the one with whom am at ease? ….. Or will it prove to be “FOE”. The element of curiosity is always here  as it is part of every single human.

There has to be something that attracts you, gives you a sense of willingness and increases your desire to have more. It doesn’t have to be conscious or obvious to us, but at this stage we have to have reason to lean in, even a little, if the stranger we’re meeting is going to have a chance of becoming a friend.

I recall back my first steps into the school yard. You are part of that institution – Entering the compound without knowing anybody but you come out knowing almost everybody. All those adventures you have had in your school days be it bunking classes, street football, brawl during recess, secretly having those intoxicating drinks and going home as if nothing actually happened. All these persons who were once a stranger is now part of your life. You actually share everything; sorrows, laugh, insanity, even your worst blunder you did commit.

A friend is actually a second parent who matches your way of thinking and indulges with you in the right and wrong way.

Familiarity is an important variable within friendship. We frequently want to experience this comfort level with someone upon first meeting them, forgetting that it takes time to build.  A trust that you can assume a conversation with you when you call.  An ease where you’re okay just hanging out spontaneously together without it taking two weeks to schedule.  A sense that you are beginning to be able to predict how they will respond to different life events.

The definition of a friend has changed in today’s technologically connected world. Today we may think we have many “friends.” It is true: we do enjoy the ability to be informed and to stay current with what is happening in the lives of many of our acquaintances as well as current and former friends and even people we have not met personally whom we call our friends.


© Soovan Sharma Dookhoo 2014

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